How is this possible?

Hello again, dear reader:

Not a single blog for three months, and now two in as many days! Just like London buses! This day, my ire is directed towards young Michael Owen, former Liverpool / Newcastle striker, now plying his 'trade' with Man Ure. On Sunday afternoon, Man Utd played a tense thriller against arch-rivals Man City, which finished 4-3 in United's favour. Three times United took the lead, and three times City equalised. That is, until six minutes into stoppage time when United scored their fourth. the goalscorer being - you guessed it - Michael Owen. That's his sixth for this season, very nearly as many, in two short months, as he managed in four seasons at Newcastle. How, as my title suggests, is this possible? Has his move to a super-rich world-class club on a free transfer coincided with a miraculous return to full fitness?

I don't doubt Owen's credentials as a world-class striker. But there must be more to this story than meets the eye. My verdict is that he is a time waster. He has wasted over half his career getting over injuries very slowly indeed in order to get out of a contract he is unhappy with. He did it at Liverpool, at Real Madrid and Newcastle. I'm not saying he hasn't had genuine injuries. Anyone who saw him hit the deck a few minutes into an England game in the 2006 World Cup would have winced, as I did, knowing that that was going to hurt. In the end, he was out for pretty much the whole of the following season. And who's to say that, as soon as he has his first tiff with Sir Alex Ferguson, he won't do the same at Manchester United? I'd get as much mileage out of him as I can now, Sir Alex.

It's a Crazy World Part 1

How do you enforce a rule that is basically unenforceable? The other day I was in Sainsbury's with my wife, and we bought two packets of their own-brand paracetamol each. Except that the staff at the checkout wouldn't let us - the rule is only two packets, unless bought at the pharmacy. The reason being that the staff should be protected from making the decision whether someone is likely to kill themselves with it. To be fair, this is not an issue with Sainsbury's - all the major High Street supermarkets operate by the same tenet. There are, however several flaws:

1. If my wife and I had not been talking to each other, we could have given the impression that we were not related, bought the paracetamol each, and sailed through.

2. Each time I have questioned the staff about it, they have not been able to provide one shred of written documentation of this policy or clarify the regulation clearly enough to determine whether the rule is two packets per person or per household.

3. Had my wife and I gone to the self-service checkout separately we could have easily purchased the medicine without question.

4. If we went to the same store the following day, we could have found a different member of staff who would not have stopped us from buying the medication.

5. Suppose we did just buy two packets a day for a week? Would that not be enough medication to kill myself with, if that was my intention? And am I right in thinking that there is nothing that their legislation could do about it?

6. Since the medication is on the open shelves, you would think there would be some form of notification of the limitation, right? Wrong.

Someone needs to get some consistency in this, because people like me who need the stuff for pain relief are treated like criminals when there are far more potent items on the shelves that I could buy and do myself in with - bleach, cough medicine, or Tesco Value Bakewell Tarts.