Oh, you asked for it...

Yes, folk:

Just a brief note to inform you that, as of today, I hope to be updating this here blog on a far more regular basis. Why? Because I can. And I should. I have discovered over recent months that places like Facebook, as fun as they are, are not the place for the likes of me to be posting impotent rants about the state of the world and the world of the State.

Plus, it's almost time for me to nominate my now-annual Stephen Butler Prize for the album of the year. Start baiting your breasts and wait for the opening of That Envelope. I would do one for Film of the Year, too, but I've only seen three and they were all in 3-D and they were all animated. I could pick a winner out of those three if you like.

Remember the old adage, folks: Smile, and the world goes 'What the f*** are you smiling at?'

I'll be back sooner than you fear...I mean, think.

England, Oh England

Was there ever going to be any other result? Other than a 15-minute spell either side of half-time, England were so woeful across the park that Germany were able to crush the mighty Three Lions without breaking sweat.

There are two reasons why this happened. First, and perhaps most obviously, the manager must accept full responsibility for the failings of his team and resign. He insisted on playing a system that the players were not used to, he played individuals out of position and ultimately cost himself the respect of the players that he so desperately craved.

Second, we have the players themselves. Half the players are, I believe, world class and the equal to any Brazilian, Spaniard, Italian or whatever. I'm talking about Rooney, Gerrard, both Coles, Terry, Ferdinand, and Beckham (if fit). Cappello should have looked at the players he had, then built the system around them, instead of forcing them to play a system that virtually none of them (except possibly Dafoe) play at club level. How hard can that be? But equally the players should have made more of an effort, instead of giving up at the first hurdle. We can't do this, so we can't be bothered. That's the truth of the matter, not the noncommittal 'we don't know' that Gerrard gave when questioned about it after the Germany defeat.

We need a new manager, new players and new commitment. Otherwise they will have to look at replacing the Three Lions on the shirt with Three Blind Mice.

Jumping Through Hoops

I'll give the Tories some credit, they didn't lie to us about it. They promised to 'review' the benefits system in order to make efficiency savings and cut the country's deficit just that little bit more. Of course, there were not that many benefits they could target once they promised to protect pensioners and the vulnerable, such as single mothers and so on. So, once again, the axe falls upon those receiving incapacity benefit and Disability Living Allowance.

I should point out from the outset that these are precisely the two benefits that I am in receipt of, being my only source of income once I was signed off from work in 2005. I have a condition that they call Fibromyalgia. This, folks, is a condition that affects, well, everything ultimately. If you want a more detailed definition, I suggest you look it up on Wikipedia.

To cut a long story short, it took four years to finally gain some form of credibility with the Department for Work and Pensions, when they finally recognised the fact that this was a condition from which I have suffered for many, many years, even before I ever thought I was 'ill,' if you see what I mean. I was diagnosed with this condition in 2007, and it was after that that many of my earlier episodes throughout my life started to make sense.

Benefits are not something that I take for granted, or take lightly in any way. I am very serious about our benefits system, as I would be whether I was receiving them or not. I believe that we are astonishingly fortunate in this country to have the benefits system that we do. (If, by some miracle, there is someone reading this outside my own country, I am talking about the United Kingdom.) I also recognise, however, that we are in the middle of a workshy generation, largely started by people my age and younger, whose sole use of their brains has consisted of concocting methods by which they can lie and cheat their way into claiming benefits for ailments they do not have; or simply brazenly living off welfare without any attempt whatsoever to find work. It is they who take our benefits system for granted; they grow up with the idea that somehow the government owes them something for doing nothing so that they end up actually believing it.

So what's a government department to do? What any self-respecting government department would do, of course, and punish the whole class because of the mis-behaviour of a few. Consequently people like myself and many others in far worse situations are forced to jump through hoops in order to claim, what, £50 a week in some cases? Let's face it, we're not talking Donald Trump here.

I'll not go into the why's and wherefore's of the Conservative Party's ascent to power at the May, 2010 General Election. I'll save that for another blog. The fact is they're here, they're having an affair with the Liberal Democrats, let's just deal with it and move on for now. And George Osborne, the first Chancellor in history to be younger than me, announced in his Emergency Budget on June 22 that he would force all new and existing claimants of Disability Living Allowance to be re-assessed to see if they can go back to work or not. In 2013. This is supposed to make savings this year? How does that work?

And today, June 28, he announced that Incapacity Benefit claimants are to be re-looked at in a summer spending review to see if they can go back to work or not. Are you starting to detect a pattern here? That's right. George Osborne, Eton born and bred, doesn't like the oiks who are on benefits and is now using the protection of 'legitimacy' in order to smash and kick them when they are down.

Part of me says right, fine, bring it on. I have nothing to hide and for that reason am more than willing to go through all of those government hoops again. But my wife had to go through all of the hoops with me, and indeed many of the hoops on my behalf, and now she must do it all again for me? And she is working! That's right, Young Master Osborne forgets that those who are genuinely incapacitated need carers to do those things for them, and now working people must re-do all the form filling, hospital and JobCentre Plus visits, and angry phone calls to civil servants already pissed off because their pay and pensions have been frozen for two years.

And that's a right bloody encouragement to go back to work, isn't it? I worked for 14 years in Libraries. A public servant working in the public sector, that's right. The department for whom I worked were pioneers in spending reviews, cuts and staff restructurings that led to lower and lower grade staff taking on more responsibility for the same pay. And they were proud of it! Eventually, after 14 years of it, they wore me down and burnt me out to a point where I was no longer able to work.

What's this, I hear you cry, are you actually blaming local government for your illness? Well, no, but let's face it the government are about as responsible for my condition as I am for their fucking deficit.

What irks me most about these politicians, from whatever political persuasion they may come, is that they refuse to accept any responsibility for any of their actions. No, we are all in this together, but it is the taxpayer, and now the benefit recipient, who must pay for past mistakes by bankers who still receive their bonuses. And MP's can still claim for their expenses! This country is £155 billion in debt and Diane Abbott still feels justified in claiming for cab fares because she's going home late at night. Well boo-bleedin'-hoo. They're the ones telling us that we must tighten our belts because we've got to make savings. Well, Miss Abbott, as long as those savings don't include taxi fares, eh? Here's a radical idea: how about paying for your own bloody taxi like everyone else has to?

If I went to the JobCentre Plus (TM) to try to claim, on top of my opulent benefit payments, for a taxi back from somewhere because I am disabled and not able to walk home, imagine the response I would get. Paying for taxis is a luxury and not something you can expect just by blustering your way through the justification. Am I less entitled to claim for a taxi because walking causes me pain that if, say, it was late and I was afraid of the dark?

So George Osborne and his Liberal Democrat bedfellows want to 'encourage people who can work to work.' The implication is, of course, that there are people who can work saying that they can't work which may well be true, but I want to encourage MPs who can pay for their own taxi fares and other sundry expenses to pay for their own taxi fares and other sundry expenses.

Bring it on.

Classic Movies

Today I joined a Facebook group, and a blog as it goes, entitled Bring Classic Horror Back to Television. This blog lists the classic horror double bills of the 1970's and 1980's and reminds us, in stark black and white (well, blue), of the great films that are no longer shown on the box. And it got me thinking: what about all the other classic movies that now no longer receive an airing?

It seems that, with the advent of multi-channel satellite and freeview television services, many of these films have all but disappeared off the radar. There are channels devoted to film, such as Turner Classic Movies and Sky's Classics channel, but these once-proud stations are now reduced to showing the same films over and over again and the ones that they do show are not what I call 'classic.'

So as of today I would like to make it my life's work to restore regular showings of movies from 'Hollywood's Golden Age' on our screens. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of current film too. But I remember the glory days when BBC2 would have an early Cagney season, or a Bogart season, an afternoon of Bette Davis movies or similar. Or, as my friend Cyberschizoid points out, a good old-fashioned horror double bill of a Saturday night.

Before I continue my rant I would like to give credit where it's due, specifically to Channel 4, who have recently begun at least to show some of the old Warner Bros. movies from the 1940's [most recently the 1943 Errol Flynn film Edge of Darkness, with a wonderful score by Franz Waxman].

The biggest criminal, as far as I am concerned, is Turner Classic Movies [UK]. When I first discovered satellite television, in 1999, one of the main reasons I decided to take the plunge was TCM. It was great. Much of their library at the time was taken from the back catalogues of Warner Bros., MGM and, I think, RKO. A morning of Warner B-movies might be followed by an afternoon and evening showing of, I don't know, The Adventures of Robin Hood, Casablanca, Now, Voyager and The Great Ziegfeld. That's telly heaven right there.

Then, in October, 2000, something very bizarre happened. Glancing through the monthly schedule, I noted 63 films that I fancied watching that month. As the month wore on, with each bright shining new day, each and every single one of the films got cancelled, and replaced with mega-epics like Love Among the Ruins, Stand By Me, Can't Buy Me Love, etc. etc.

TCM has never been the same since. Yet, in the US, the station continued to delve deep into its extensive library, a policy it continues to this day. The other key change that destroyed TCM in dear old blighty was the introduction of adverts - TCM in the US continues to show its films 'uncut and commercial-free.'

Over the last 5 years or so I made a number of visits to the US, and always made sure that my wife and I stayed in hotels and/or other accomodation that had TCM on its list of stations. Over there they continue to demonstrate a deep love of film that in the UK just became lip-service.

I have been told by the powers that be that many of the films no longer can be shown in Europe because it violates the conditions of their copyright. They can't be released on DVD over here either. Warner Bros.' fantastic Archive Collection series of DVDs remain US-only releases, and you can buy them from TCM's online store - except you can't if you live abroad because they ship to US addresses only. I have friends who have offered to get the DVDs shipped to their address and then they will ship to me. Another contact has offered to record direct from TCM and then ship the DVDs to me. But, as grateful as I am for their help, why should I? Are my eyes any different from those of our American cousins? Is there a reason why films that can be anything up to 80 years old can't be shown over here? We're talking about films like Sunny Side Up and Gold Diggers of Broadway not Iron Man 2 or Kick-Ass.

BBC2 this week are showing a brief Norman Wisdom season. Great, if you like that sort of thing, but what about a Gable season showing films that are not regularly screened, like Idiot's Delight, or Forsaking All Others? Unfortunately we live in an age when our television schedulers must appeal to the lowest common denominator. So Channel 5 must show its made-for-TV dramas every afternoon, because they're cheap.

I'm not saying newer films shouldn't be shown, of course not - I like to sit down and wallow in Steven Seagal kick-fest like anybody else. But let's have some balance here. And TCM, pull your finger out and get hold of your library.

Time For a Change?

Well, the country has spoken...but what did it say? That we want change? Well, yes. That we want Gordon Brown, that lying, cheating weasel, slung summarily out of office? Um, kind of. That we want the Liberal Democrats, those paragons of change and a fresh start, to rule instead of the two 'old parties'? Er, no.

Here's what happened, in a nutshell: just below 30 million votes were cast yesterday; of those, 10 million (or one third) voted Tory, 2 million less than that voted 'Labour', and 2 million less than that voted Liberal Democrat. This means that in a Parliament comprised of 650 seats, the split should be: Conservative 220 seats give or take; 'Labour' 210 seats and the Liberal Democrats 200 seats. The remainder can go to the 'others'. That's right, n'est pas? No. Of course not. The Tories ended up with 306 seats, 'Labour' got 258; the Liberal Democrats a distant third with 57 seats, less than they polled in the 2005 election.

How the bloody hell is this possible, you may ask. God knows I have. Well, a quick glance at the election nap, sorry map, provided by the BBC News website will give you the answer. Most of England is now blue, most of northern England and Southern Scotland now red, and the Highlands, pockets of the South West and Midlands of England now yellow, or orange, or whatever it's supposed to be. It's basically down to constituency sizes and populations, all made up and changed at will by previous Conservative and Labour governments, both of whom have one common interest: squeeze out the Liberal Democrats. That's why the LibDems have been banging on for years about Proportional Representation - without it they haven't had a hope of sharing government.

Until now.

What gets me most of all, I think, is that political parties of all colours and persuasions using varying interpretations of fairness to suit their own ambitions. Politics is a game; it's theatre, and don't let them tell you any different. In fact, not only is it theatre, it's pantomime, with voters shouting 'behind you!' to Gordon Brown as he boos and hisses his way towards a General Election defeat.

It is impossible to get a straight answer out of any politician. None of them will tell you exactly what they would do if they get into government, and if they say they are telling you the facts, they are lying. How do I know this?

Take the three leaders' debates. At the first, Nick Clegg came out the clear winner and put the Liberal Democrats forward as genuine government contenders, or at the very least opposition. It was a crazy few days after that. Everyone was walking around going 'I agree with Nick!' at any opportunity. Brown was criticised for cosying up to the LibDems in a less-than-subtle attempt to gain a coalition should there be a hung parliament. It was sad to watch in a way. It was a political tactic and it misfired. Brown had been advised badly. Also, Clegg addressed many remarks to the camera and, when other leaders were speaking, he turned to them and listened.

Cue the second debate. What happens? Brown no longer 'agrees with Nick,' and Cameron looks straight down the camera and turns to the other leaders and listens when they speak. Ha! Pathetic! Not only that but now that Clegg is doing so well in the media that the other leaders decide that the Liberal Democrats' policies are weak and deserve exposing through scrutiny. And Gordon Brown smiles that smile. That smile that says 'Say that again and you're DEAD!' smile. Brown must think the British public have just crawled out from under a stone if he imagines that we're going to believe that smile.

So now we're supposed to believe that the country has spoken and sent back a hung parliament, but how did we do this? Almost thirty million people huddled around discussing tactics? We are where we are because a large number of people voted for the party they've always voted for, myself included. I voted Liberal Democrat despite the fact that I don't agree with them on Europe, I don't agree with them on immigration and I don't agree with them on the Euro. I'm anti-Europe, but I can't vote Tory. I'm anti-corporate greed and pro-union but I can't vote Labour. I'm anti-war and pro-fairness for everyone. We should all have the right to access free healthcare that is of the highest standard. Abandon private 'NHS' trusts whose only ambition is profit. Give ulitities, transport, health & education back to the state. But allow those who wish to make money in business to do so, and fairly.

So, guys, cut out this media posturing and find a party system that actually gives voters what they want, instead of continually having to pick the best of a rotten bunch. As I write this Cameron and Clegg are busy picking out curtains, so it remains to be seen what kind of a government we shall get. Interesting times ahead.