If you go to the shops and you buy, for example, a copy of this week's Jackie, you hand over your 50p to the newsagent, what, does it disappear into the ether? I would have thought, after a brief spell in the shopkeeper's till, it would then somehow make its way to the bank and then off to some other bank and then...where? My point is this: surely there is exactly the same amount of money on planet Earth as there always was, more if you factor in Quantitative Easing, not less, so how come everyone's short of money? Who's got it?
I'm not thick or anything, but I do think it odd that we have these periods of 'boom & bust' and when it's the latter, where is all the cash that suddenly re-appears when the former returns. The dosh has got to be somewhere. Is this how a recession ends - someone goes 'Look! There it is!' and pulls a huge bag of 20p coins out from behind the bookcase? We shall see. I'm usually right about these things.
Why just the other day I was musing with my wife's father that our beloved Great Leader, Comrade Brown, has actually lost his marbles and is in danger of needing the services of the very same National Health Service he has spent the last 12 1/2 years bleeding dry. I truly believe the guy is actually crazy and the truly awful fawning over him at the Labour Party Conference by those who happen to be in front of a camera at the time showed itself to be nothing more than the stage-managed show of affection that it was.
Why do those in public life continue to imagine that, if they show the public something, like loads of ambitious ministers clapping a leader whose job they want, that we're just gonna swallow it and go 'what were we thinking? And there was us imagining that Gordon Brown was an incompetent, unbalanced old fool!' DO THEY THINK WE CRAWLED OUT FROM UNDER A FLIPPIN' STONE?
Anyway, my point was: there I was going on about how unhinged Gordon Brown is, and the next day, right, Andrew Marr asks him if he's on any medication because quite frankly he doesn't look well, does he? [Gordon Brown, not Andrew Marr.] Well, you could have knocked me down with a fork lift truck. I mean, I must be a sidekick or something. Mark my words, dear readers - yes, both of you - if Gordon Brown makes it to the next General Election as leader, I will lean forwards in my wheelchair, stick my head up my poop chute and sing a chorus of 'My Way' to my appendix.
Well, reader, it's getting to that time of year. Leaves are falling, days are getting shorter, the sky is a dull grey [what's new there?] , and the wind has already begun to howl around my chuffy bits. In order to combat the sheer misery that is autumn, I start to ponder the more important matters in life, such as...I don't know...the album of 2009. And this year has seen a bumper crop of contenders, but this week I think I may have found my Album of 2009. What is it, I hear you yawn? Step forward Reunited by Cliff Richard & the Shadows. One dodgy live album from 1979 aside, this is actually their first album of new studio material for an astonishing 41 years! Granted, 19 of the album's 22 songs are re-recordings of their greatest hits, but no matter. When I heard it, I couldn't believe it. Breath of fresh air doesn't even cover it. This album is the chalk to Muse's cheese; the Yin to Porcupine Tree's Yang. Two tracks in, and the sound of 'The Young Ones' in crystal clear stereo played to perfection by the band that influenced everyone from Mark Knopfler to The Beatles was a reminder to every single little oik that's ever followed in their wake and committed their angst to record that this is what pop music was and should be about.
My only gripe with the album is the inclusion of 'Move It' which is not strictly a Cliff Richard & the Shadows hit, now is it, lads? In July, 1958, when the song was originally recorded, not one member of The Shadows appeared on the recording. Indeed, the first single to feature Hank Marvin & Bruce Welch was 'Livin' Lovin' Doll', recorded in November of that year. Drummer Brian Bennett is the relative new boy of the band, having joined as recently as January / February of 1962. Now you've got me started on this subject, you might be interested to learn that Bennett replaced one Tony Meehan, who, along with bassist Jet Harris formed a successful duo after they left The Shadows in December, 1961. It took almost 28 years for them to patch up their differences with Cliff, who allowed them to share a stage with him when he sold out two shows at Wembley Stadium in June, 1989.
One final fascinating piece of information about this album [Reunited by Cliff & the Shadows in case you had forgotten] is that it isn't as 'reunited' as you might think. Yup, in true 'Duets' stylee, Cliff recorded his vocals in Florida, USA, whilst Hank recorded his guitar parts from his home in Perth, Australia. That's three continents for 5 musicians, because 'everything else' was recorded at Brian Bennett's home studio in Hertfordshire, England. But, in spite of that, I am awarded this much-coveted award for The Stephen Butler Album of the Year 2009 to:
Reunited by Cliff Richard & the Shadows!
It would be at this point that I turn my attention to the Movie of the Year, but since I haven't been to the pictures in more than a year I'll not bother.
Did either of you see Kelly Rowland, formerly of Destiny's Child, funk up her recent Number one smash hit single at the MOBO Awards t' other day? Afterwards, she took quite a swing at the event organisers, berating their poor organisation for allowing her to perform with such poor sound, which of course meant that she was unable to hear the backing track. Well, I was so inflamed by this blatant example of i'm-a-big-star bullpoo that I went over to her Twitter page and politely reminded her that, having watched her performance, I heard nothing wrong with the sound and I implicitly put the suggestion to her that perhaps she had simply cocked-up the song good and proper. If the sound was so bad, why was she loudly urging the crowd to wave their hands in the air like they just didn't care, instead of perhaps encouraging them to keep quiet so that she could hear the backing track? I have yet to receive a response from her, which seems odd to me.
Now, Books I Have Got on the Go Part I:
These are the books I am reading at the moment. They are:
Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby. The World's Funniest Novelist Ever returns with yet another book which focuses on a dweeb with no friends who has an obsession with obscure seventies music. I'm only on Chapter Two at the moment. Chapter One was quite funny, if you like reading about hopeless dweebs with folk-rock fixations.
The Fears of Henry IV by Ian Mortimer. This guy Henry the Fourth was King of England from about, oh 1387 or thereabouts, a long time ago anyway, and came from a time when people, men usually, fought like cat and second cat over who should be King. With me so far? Well, Henry beat the shit out of some bloke called Richard the Second, and took over Kingship for a while. He did quite well at it, lasting a full nearly 14 years before he breathed his last. He was succeeded by Laurence Olivier, who of course film buffs will recall was played by Henry the Fifth in that flag-waving World War II epic of 1944.
Prince Rupert by Charles Spencer. Spencer, as the man who used to be Princess Diana's brother, is already more famous than anyone on the planet outside of the Jackson family, so why he bothered writing a book about Charles the Second's cousin or nephew or something is beyond me. Still, you don't get many Prince Rupert biographies to the pound, so this one is at least welcome, if a little pedestrian, read.
Hester by Ian McIntyre. Samuel Johnson took a liking to this lady called Hester who didn't seem to mind his Tourette's. She also didn't mind his habit of barking like a doggie and writing dictionaries.
Got plenty of others lined up, so more later. x
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