Time For a Change?

Well, the country has spoken...but what did it say? That we want change? Well, yes. That we want Gordon Brown, that lying, cheating weasel, slung summarily out of office? Um, kind of. That we want the Liberal Democrats, those paragons of change and a fresh start, to rule instead of the two 'old parties'? Er, no.

Here's what happened, in a nutshell: just below 30 million votes were cast yesterday; of those, 10 million (or one third) voted Tory, 2 million less than that voted 'Labour', and 2 million less than that voted Liberal Democrat. This means that in a Parliament comprised of 650 seats, the split should be: Conservative 220 seats give or take; 'Labour' 210 seats and the Liberal Democrats 200 seats. The remainder can go to the 'others'. That's right, n'est pas? No. Of course not. The Tories ended up with 306 seats, 'Labour' got 258; the Liberal Democrats a distant third with 57 seats, less than they polled in the 2005 election.

How the bloody hell is this possible, you may ask. God knows I have. Well, a quick glance at the election nap, sorry map, provided by the BBC News website will give you the answer. Most of England is now blue, most of northern England and Southern Scotland now red, and the Highlands, pockets of the South West and Midlands of England now yellow, or orange, or whatever it's supposed to be. It's basically down to constituency sizes and populations, all made up and changed at will by previous Conservative and Labour governments, both of whom have one common interest: squeeze out the Liberal Democrats. That's why the LibDems have been banging on for years about Proportional Representation - without it they haven't had a hope of sharing government.

Until now.

What gets me most of all, I think, is that political parties of all colours and persuasions using varying interpretations of fairness to suit their own ambitions. Politics is a game; it's theatre, and don't let them tell you any different. In fact, not only is it theatre, it's pantomime, with voters shouting 'behind you!' to Gordon Brown as he boos and hisses his way towards a General Election defeat.

It is impossible to get a straight answer out of any politician. None of them will tell you exactly what they would do if they get into government, and if they say they are telling you the facts, they are lying. How do I know this?

Take the three leaders' debates. At the first, Nick Clegg came out the clear winner and put the Liberal Democrats forward as genuine government contenders, or at the very least opposition. It was a crazy few days after that. Everyone was walking around going 'I agree with Nick!' at any opportunity. Brown was criticised for cosying up to the LibDems in a less-than-subtle attempt to gain a coalition should there be a hung parliament. It was sad to watch in a way. It was a political tactic and it misfired. Brown had been advised badly. Also, Clegg addressed many remarks to the camera and, when other leaders were speaking, he turned to them and listened.

Cue the second debate. What happens? Brown no longer 'agrees with Nick,' and Cameron looks straight down the camera and turns to the other leaders and listens when they speak. Ha! Pathetic! Not only that but now that Clegg is doing so well in the media that the other leaders decide that the Liberal Democrats' policies are weak and deserve exposing through scrutiny. And Gordon Brown smiles that smile. That smile that says 'Say that again and you're DEAD!' smile. Brown must think the British public have just crawled out from under a stone if he imagines that we're going to believe that smile.

So now we're supposed to believe that the country has spoken and sent back a hung parliament, but how did we do this? Almost thirty million people huddled around discussing tactics? We are where we are because a large number of people voted for the party they've always voted for, myself included. I voted Liberal Democrat despite the fact that I don't agree with them on Europe, I don't agree with them on immigration and I don't agree with them on the Euro. I'm anti-Europe, but I can't vote Tory. I'm anti-corporate greed and pro-union but I can't vote Labour. I'm anti-war and pro-fairness for everyone. We should all have the right to access free healthcare that is of the highest standard. Abandon private 'NHS' trusts whose only ambition is profit. Give ulitities, transport, health & education back to the state. But allow those who wish to make money in business to do so, and fairly.

So, guys, cut out this media posturing and find a party system that actually gives voters what they want, instead of continually having to pick the best of a rotten bunch. As I write this Cameron and Clegg are busy picking out curtains, so it remains to be seen what kind of a government we shall get. Interesting times ahead.